Saturday, March 29, 2008


I read again the book that you guys give me in my 18th birthday. That's the best gift I ever had.
Amazing how we can form such a solid friendship. The most beautiful time in my life.

It's sad how we only meet one another ONCE after we apart. Why our holiday must be different?
I terribly miss you guys. It's so different now. We always proud of our independence. But after we apart now, I think it's not as easy as I thought when we separated. Nobody said it was easy. No one ever said it would be this hard.

Tell me your secrets and ask me your questions,
Oh lets go back to the start.
Running in circles, Comin' up Tails
Heads on a science apart.

Nobody said it was easy,
It's such a shame for us to part.
Nobody said it was easy,
No one ever said it would be this hard.

Oh take me back to the start.
I wish I could always be I am that you guys know.
After I meet you guys I change a lot , and I like those changes.
Now I also change a lot, but I hate it. How could I change this much?
I know Cindy will told me to not cling to the past, just like she always say, but I really can't help it.

I miss you guys. LOTS.
Monday, 24 July 2006 at 09:47 AM
I miss you guys.
Even though you all so weird
Even though you all often insult my 'interest'
Even though it's hard for you guys to choose place to eat
Even though your mood swings often scares me
Even though you all like to make unplanned 'trip'
Even though you guys likes to wake me up too early
Even though you all never have any money LOL
Even though you all such a childish bunch
Even though you all often do embrassing stuffs
I miss my friends soooo much! T____T
They've already gone from Jambi T____T
Steven went to Singapore July 16, Cou2 went to Jakarta July 17, and Cindy goes to Bandung tonight T______T
Only me, Nesia, and Wendy left here.

We doubt we can meet again because we go to different campuses and different city even country! I really miss our time together T____T
But what can I do? T___T
I know I sounds so emo. I know. Just let me drown in old memories for a while. I'll be okay soon. I just miss them terribly.

Friday, March 28, 2008

And tell me you love me, come back and haunt me

It's official. I'm in love with The Scientist - Coldplay's song. I really am such a sucker for sad love song. When Chen told me that Moulin Rouge will end up with sad ending, I know I will cry if I watch the movie LOL. I really can't help it, I can't defend myself from sad love story :p

Today in Digital Media class we got a shocking news, our deadline is due to next week =.=;; Really makes me stress, but I'm trying to be calm anyway. Another emotional burst is not needed in this kind of situation =.=; Must certain that I can finish my work! Go me!
But I really feel the need to scream though. Ah, whatever.

Dunno why when I go to toilet I suddenly remember on my OCD tendency. Even though now my OCD tendency is not as bad as before, I still have some OCD that I can't control, and I don't think I want to control them cause I feed it's not needed. I still can live with it anyway. Until now I still can't feel comfortable to eat in mamak stall, even though in relatively nice place like Chola. I don't know why, not that I feel myself so high class or what (I like mamak's food, ok!) but I always concerned about the hygiene of utensils there. I always really concerned about anything that would go inside my body and hands. I can't eat if the spoon and fork not match. I can't eat if the spoon or fork looks not clean enough (here I mean not shiny enough). I can't eat if my surrounding is not clean. I can't eat if the colors of my food is not convincing enough. I can't eat if my food not warm anymore. I can't eat if I'm not sure my hands are clean. I will always wash my hands anytime I got the chance. I hate to touch stuff in public area (stairs handle, train handle, etc).

Actually my OCD syndrom was worse when I was younger. I'm a really time-based person. If I said I will take a shower at 3pm and plan to finish at 3.15 that I really must finish in 3.15, NOT 3.16. I will really get frustated if I can't fulfill those stupid "requirements". Watch was my must stuff that I wear. I'll refer what I do to time. Everything must exactly 5 minutes or 30 minutes, or anything you multiply by 5 minutes. Even until now I will really feel so upset if I'm late for anything. When I climb stairs, it must started with my right feet on the first stairs. I even have tiles that I must step on when I'm in my house in Indonesia. It just feels not right if I step on other tiles, not the tiles that I must step on. I also can't step in between tiles, I must step ON the tiles, not in between tiles. I even sorted all my stuff according to colors and size. In some point I even can't sleep if I know one of my stuff i not in place where it must be. I must wear certain clothes with certain accessory. When I draw lines I will really checked if it's really really straight or not. Wah, it was really tormenting me. But now I can get over it, even though sometimes I still feel the urge to revive those OCD syndrom.

Ok, now I want to sleep for a while, later will playing RO again~

Excuse to not do my Digital Media Assignment

Yeah, writing this entry is my excuse to not do my Digital Media Assignment :p
Ahhh I really dunno why I'm so lazy to do my assignment. I like the part when we do scripting in class, but when it comes to my project, I don't feel to do it at all. But I know I must finish it eventually though =.=

Btw, lately I'm falling in love with Coldplay's songs, The Scientist and Yellow. I think I'm not romantic, but when it comes to lyrics I love romantic ones xD But I don't like shitty lyrics that shout love all over it though. I prefer the one that can convey love without saying the word 'love' at all, it's just too damn sweet for me :) When I read the lyrics of Yellow and The Scientist, I go like "awwww" xD it's amazing how I can really fell the love in those lyrics, even though I can't find any words saying 'I love you' there.

These weeks I've been extremely busy. But yeah, actually this whole semester I'm always busy anyway, so it doesn't really make significant changes. Some more Jo told us in class that it will become worse in our 3rd year. Oh well... But I still feel a big excitement for next term because we will learn photography and video editing :) It would be fun~

Today me, Chen, Chris, and Sel talk a lot when we dine in Old Town. We talk about many things, from 'soap opera' relationships to feminism. I always love the moment where I can share my thoughts with my friends. I'm the kind of person that prefers serious talking between few people rather that nonsense talking with crowds, even though I also enjoy jesting with my friends :) Yesterday I also have some interesting talk with Chris about many things, then after that have more discussion about religion with Dee, Sel, Fadzil and Chen. It's interesting to know about others point of view. In today's lunch we also have some story sharing, but this one I don't really like it though since they talking about horror stuffs =.= I just hate to discuss about that.

Ah, okay! Now go back to do my assignment! :(

Monday, March 24, 2008


Dunno why I decided to revive my almost-dead blog again ^^; Actually I've started blogging since in high school, but I keep either stop writing or moving here and there.

My first blog was in pitas, then I move to geocities (where my old blog still there!), friendster blog, livejournal, some private domain, and finally here in blogspot.
So if you type yani, tanyus, aquamarine, AQ, or even the oldest nickname I ever had, sesshou_sama in google you'll got many of result related to me from the era where I love anime and manga, Jmusic, until now the most recent one is Hugo Weaving LOL.

I guess I easily get bored, that's why I cannot keep this blogging habit. But I really like to read other people's blog though. It's interesting to read blogs, like reading book but with unpredicted ending. Afterall what written there are comes from real life. Sometimes if I read a blog from people that I know, it's also interesting because I get to know something where I also there but I got to see it from different perspective.

I think that's all for my revival post :p Now I must rushed my typo assignment >_<